Why I really don't want another child

I keep expressing this to my husband in a joking manner. I ask him to think hard about whether he really wants another baby. Don't get me wrong, I love my son and he makes me smile every minute. I love the way he needs me, his cuddles, his love of books from the age of six months, his quirky flirting ability to make everyone smile.

So why, do you ask, would I not want another one? How could you do that to your son? This question is most frequently asked by my mother. He would be all alone in the world! Ah, yes, the beauty of the guilt trip.

But here's the thing: pregnancy sucked! To those women out there who say they love being pregnant, I say, what?!?! How in the hell could you possibly enjoy puking every minute so that you actually lose weight instead of gaining it? Feeling so uncomfortable that you can't sit, stand, or lie down? Giving up your body to the alien inside for not only nine, but at least eighteen months once you add nursing into the equation?

Obviously I had a hard pregnancy, however, I have yet to actually meet a women who told me they enjoyed being pregnant in the first person. I always hear of these magical uber mommies second-hand. It's like an urban myth...at least in the circles I travel. I hated becoming a useless slug while my poor husband took on 100% of the household duties because I was too tired to get off the couch. I really don't want to go through it again, nor do I want to place him in that position, this time with our son running around to complicate things.

If I could have another baby just magically arrive at my doorstep, I would love it. I've discussed adoption with my husband, but at this point he's dead set against it. Maybe he won't be once he realizes I'm serious about not getting pregnant again, maybe he'll change his tune. But who knows?

The other issue that comes into play is my work life. My husband is a great guy, he gives more than most men, loves to cook, and is generally very agreeable. Everyone likes him. The minor, teensy, eensy problem is that he is a teacher (well it's not really a problem, I just couldn't think of a better word). He loves and the kids love him, he gets rave reviews from his administrators. I admire this. He is able to stand 150 teenagers and not shoot them. I would not be so lucky. However, as noble as teaching is, it's not very lucrative.

I am 100% behind the theory that either partner provides the money. I am in no way saying it's his job alone to provide. In fact, for most of our relationship, I've earned more money. I enjoy working, contributing, and participating in an outside environment. The "stay-at-home" gene must have missed me. I definitely have a strong need to "do more". I know how hard it is to stay home, I did it for a year. It's not easy and you end up doing a lot of hard work. So please don't misunderstand that I'm saying staying at home isn't hard or isn't work.

At this point, I just can't see dropping out of the work force for another 2 years. Financially we can't afford it, physically I'm not that into it, and emotionally I have enough on my plate balancing my life, my son, and my husband.


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